Jasmine Stalker-Firth

Yesterday we had overhead cupboards fitted above our bed in the bedroom. It was a full day job and the man arrived at 8am and set about sawing and hammering for hours. We had dismantled our bed and cot and took everything out of the bedroom on Monday evening and set Jasmine’s machine up in the living room, so it was funny to camp out and see what it would be like if we lived in a studio. I am quite glad that we don’t. We were a bit squashed.

Jasmine loved it! She didn’t have to go to bed in a separate room and could watch our new Setanta Sports channel to her heart’s content. Funnily enough, she went to sleep more quickly and made less noise than she does normally when we put her in her cot each evening. What is all that about then?

I am not one to get excited about fixtures and fittings, but the cupboards look marvellous. They are very swish and have fitted lights underneath. We are moving all our stuff back in the bedroom this afternoon, as we are bored of camping. Even if we did lie on the mattress drinking Pol Roger once the cupboards were up.

I took Jasmine to get her Hepatitis B injections to escape the noise and got stuck in the doctor’s waiting room with a mother and her big six month-old baby. The mother was amazed to find out that Jasmine was the same age and kept saying things like: “She is so tiny.” “What a tiny baby.” “I can’t believe she is six months old,” like Jasmine was Thumbelina sitting in the palm of my hand instead of in her buggy. Then came the usual: “What is wrong with your baby? What is that on her face?” which I nipped in the bud. Then we moved on to:

Mother: Can she sit up? (points at Jasmine)
Me: Not yet.
Mother: She can (gestures at her big baby)
Mother: Can Jasmine roll over? (points at Jasmine)
Me: Not yet.
Mother: She can (gestures at her big baby)
Mother: Can Jasmine recite Macbeth’s last soliloquy?

Actually she didn’t say that last bit but if she had have done, I might have enjoyed our conversation more. As it was, I was exhausted with the competitiveness of it all and thrilled when we got called in to see the doctor. I tried to run away but the mother insisted on coming with us to open all the doors ‘cos we need loads of help being so tiny and all.

I was telling Neil when I got back and the nice man putting up our cupboards shouted through that he bet that the other baby wasn’t as gorgeous as Jasmine. He is my new best friend. And then when he was leaving he left us a little ‘touch up’ squirty thing so we can squeeze paint all over the flat where we are generally scruffy, especially in the hallway where we put up a mirror using No more nails and it fell off in the night taking all the paint with it. No more mirror, more like.

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