Jasmine Stalker-Firth

I spoke to my mate Wayne the other day who made me laugh for hours. He said that he hadn’t been reading the blog lately because Jasmine seemed to be so much better. Previously, when lots of terrible things happened, he was riveted and read the blog every morning but now it’s all a bit dull so he has gone elsewhere on the web to get his kicks.

Neil came home a bit cross-eyed this morning with Jasmine. Jasmine was smiling happily. Neil hadn’t had much sleep at all in the night but was glad he practised the alarms. Jasmine had been sick a couple of times this morning so he had spent since 6am cleaning up her sick and changing the cot.

I had spent the morning at home sorting out our bedroom and bathroom. We can fit in the dialysis machine and all of the dialysate and hand washing scrub stuff and everything we need in both places so that our life is easy. So after lunch we were all ready to try out my organisation. as we were scheduled to change Jasmine’s PD dressing. This involves several trips to and from the bathroom to the bedroom for handwashing, easy access to various bits of sterile swaps, antiseptic and what have you, and somewhere clean and flat to put Jasmine. It went really well. Neil did the dressing and said it was a bit easier at home, since we have control over where to put things. The only problem is where to keep the paper towels. We think we may have to screw our new paper dispenser to the wall and make our bathroom look like a public convenience.

I am staying at the hospital tonight so we will take Jasmine back in a while. Indiana Jones is on the telly so I can watch that while Jasmine snoozes and Neil can organise the dinner, though I am bit bored of pizza.

Tonight Neil is staying at the hospital so we had pizza and salad for dinner again as it was my turn to go for takeaway to eat during Match of The Day. I gave him training on our new food pump, which meant that I pumped water all over Jasmine’s cubicle and Neil laughed at a lot at my training techniques. We eventually got the pump working and hooked up to Jasmine with nice fresh milk for the night.

Since I was on fire with my training, before I left I gave Neil more information about the alarms on the machine. Generally if an alarm goes off you check the lines that they aren’t clamped or kinked and then you give Jasmine a gentle shake or turn her on her side. The alarms normally stop and the machine carries on dialysing Jasmine. Neil then ordered me home because it was getting late and my explanations weren’t fantastic and I had to get the baby bath back.

Ruth got trained on how to use the feed pump today. Jasmine will be fed overnight, so should sleep well. Her pump can be put in a backpack when we go out and about. It is all very well designed. Ruth was trying out the pump with orange juice, so that she could see where the juice was in the lines.

We are getting faster at doing all the tasks required. Ruth disconnected Jasmine, and set her machine up. I changed her PD dressing and connected her in the evening. Jasmine’s blood pressure is fairly stable at the moment, and she is putting on weight, so things are looking good at the moment.

Today Jasmine and I are at home and Neil is at work. Jasmine is currently snoozing in her cot and I am considering a nap myself as I am so tired after being overexcited at the prospect of Jasmine coming home. If all goes well we should be able to bring her home next week. I can’t believe it and start to cry everytime I think about it.

Jasmine has realised that her hand is connected to her arm and keeps staring at it and going cross-eyed. She also supports her own head for extended periods of time and leans back when she is in my arms so that she can stretch and have a good look around (and make me look like I don’t know how to hold her properly). Now when she smiles she looks directly at me which is more polite than that smiling to herself routine that she used to do.

After Neil left I managed to fall asleep but it was a busy night. I seemed to hear alarms quite a bit and nurses rushing up and down dealing with them. At one point they were switching lights on and off to find the source of one random alarm that didn’t seem to belong to a patient, so inbetween sleeping and wandering about, I spent quite a bit of time watching Jasmine sleep and looking out of the window at the ambulances coming and going.

I finally got into a deep sleep around 2am after changing Jasmine who had vomited a couple of times. Then just after 3am the alarm on Jasmine’s machine woke me up. The nurse on duty had made Jasmine’s machine alarm on purpose so that I could get some practice dealing with alarms when half-asleep. I don’t know how she managed to sneak in without waking me when the door to our cubicle is really heavy and squeaks a lot. I gave Jasmine a shake to untangle her line and unclamped a line on the machine. Luckily this seemed to do the trick and I was able to go back to sleep. It was good practice and I feel much more confident when dealing with the machine.

This morning Neil arrived with lattes and croissants which perked me up no end. Neil disconnected her and then I went off to Westminster to give a lecture. I was wondering how I would manage, but it went ok and I enjoyed it.

I got back this afternoon and did Jasmine’s machine and we went for a cup of tea downstairs and watched the world go by. She sits wide-eyed like Yoda making wise grunting sounds. I can now chat to myself to my heart’s content as Jasmine sits on my lap. People think I am chatting to her – little do they know that she isn’t really listening.

We moved from one side of the ward to the other today. It is used by patients and parents to be semi-independent and to get used to doing everything before they go home, but still have access to the nurses when they have a question. It is really quiet on this side and I miss chatting to all the nurses and having them pop their heads round the door to ask me if I need anything.

Today I took a sample from Jasmine’s catheter – direct from her tummy. I also set up her machine and connected her without anyone supervising us at all. Although I have done her machine many times I was convinced I had done it all wrong because no one was watching, but it worked fine when I plugged Jasmine into it. Neil and I did her PD dressing together this evening when he came in from work as it is a two man job. Everything else we can do separately and take turns, so that we get a break.

I took Jasmine out for lunch today and someone asked me if Jasmine was my baby. How weird. Whose baby would she be? Still it was better than the other four people who asked me why she has a tube up her nose. My new answer: because she needs it.