It was freezing and foggy outside yesterday when we took a lot of old medicines round to the chemist. Then Baxter rang up and we are getting our dialysis machine picked up on Monday, which is a bit strange. For better and for worse, that machine has been the centre of our world for the best part of the last two years.
I packed it away a couple of weeks ago because we need the space and I took all our old cartridge sets and mini-caps and drain bags to the hospital so that they could use them for training. Otherwise, the whole lot would have been destroyed as you can’t use them on other patients even if they are sealed (which they are). The whole packet containing 60 or whatever has to be delivered whole so that you can see nothing has been tampered with. Fair enough, if someone delivered me half a box of mini-caps or drain bags or said, “Oh you can have these, they are left over.” I wouldn’t have touched them.
I am starting to really appreciate not having to do dialysis. I feel a bit teary thinking about it. Jasmine just wakes up on a morning now, no vomiting. She always says, “Ahh,” like she is really pleased and surprised to have woken up in her own cot. And then I pick her up immediately and do not have to check for any tangled lines or mop up any vomit. And then I can just carry her into the other room and not have to do any handwashes and disconnecting and getting out fresh caps and worrying all the time about the catheter.
She looks so much better. Everyday we used to change her clothes at least five times and the cot at least once (if she rolled off the towels we had her lying on so that we could change them quickly and avoid her lying in her own vomit) and we used to constantly mop up the carpet and the floor. All different now. Most of the time we get through the day with the same outfit. Amazing!
We put our tree up and the girls were fascinated it by it. We have put it up on top of lots of dialysis boxes (Baxter don’t want them back either and they are a bit heavy to take to the hospital on the tube for the moment) out of the reach of little hands. And then we decided to take lots of pictures which was funny getting everyone to pose and then laughing at all the pictures.
I love Christmas. Neil always buys himself a huge turkey and hundreds of chipolatas wrapped in bacon, enough to feed the whole street. In contrast, I spend so much time wondering what I should eat, as it should be good because it is Christmas. I get overwhelmed and end up with something ordinary like two quorn sausages or I buy some new style pretend turkey and then Neil and I have the same conversation:
Me: Mmm, taste this, it is just like meat.
Neil: No thanks.
Me: Go on, just a little.
Neil: No.
Me: Go on, go on, you will love it.
Neil: Oh alright.
Me: What do you think?
Neil: Mmm, yes it does taste just like meat, mmm, tasty.
Me: Really does it?
Neil: No Ruth, it tastes like cardboard.
Me: Ah.
Neil: It is horrible.
Me: Ok.
So, I can’t wait to have this conversation and have Christmas crackers and party hats. Although we couldn’t wear them last year as Jasmine screamed and we think they reminded her of the blue hats and scrubs that surgeons wear.
Our tree looks lovely with all the carefully wrapped gifts we have been sent. Thank you.
